Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Bizarre clothing

I had the unfortunate experience yesterday of perusing the "aisles", so called, of Burlington [Bizarre Clothing] Factory. I went looking for, go figure, a coat for my daughter.

It took me at least ten minutes to find evidence of a coat section, because it was completely hidden behind the bedlam of "MEN'S FASHIONS", "WOMEN'S FASHIONS" and "BABY OUTLET" signs, and there was no sign whatsoever of organization to these clothing "sections", so-called, until you walked all the way to the back of the store, where the children's clothing is hung haphazardly in aisles, supposedly by size. The children's jackets were against the back wall, also supposedly hung by size, though I had my doubts by the time I left the store in a haze of confusion and psychological turmoil.

It's not just that the items in the store were ill-organized. They were also oddly shaped, leaving me to wonder as I moved from one rack to the next (searching for coats, mind you, and at this point finding none) what manner of human would fit into such a sweater as *this*, or why it was that a designer felt the need further to ruin a completely hideously conceived pair of pleather pants by adorning them with knots of fuchsia faux fur.

I shall never, I repeat *never* darken the door of that horrendous store EVAR AGAIN.

Except for maybe this evening. I need to get my daughter a coat, and I hear it's THE place for that kind of thing. I figure it can't possibly have been as harrowing as I'm remembering it, and I did, eventually, find a couple of coats which might possibly fit the bill for the gril. Wish me luck.

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George MacDonald

"Home is ever so far away in the palm of your hand, and how to get there it is of no use to tell you. But you will get there; you must get there; you have to get there. Everybody who is not at home, has to go home."

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