Sunday, November 19, 2006


I HATE being wide awake and exhausted at the same time. Most 'specially and 'sclusively (if you haven't read Kipling, you really must) at 0430 AM in the morning. Yes, I am aware that "0430 AM in the morning" is doubly redundant. In Hebrew (or is it Greek? Or do I care anymore?), repetition communicates emPHAsis.

And it just occurred to me that I'm hungry, which adds insult to injury. Nevertheless, I shall attempt to find Sleep again. Do pray, Best Beloved, that Sleep finds me.

19 November 2006, 4:36 AM

There comes a moment in waking
when you realize there’s no going back.
You’re stuck with wakefulness, perhaps
until morning, though you may be desperate
for any sort of rest. None will be found,
for you spent the day filling your head
with thought after thought after thought,
and not a one of them will let you sleep.
They've got you by the tail, Best Beloved,
and not a one of them will let you sleep.

So you go about your business at 4:30 AM,
trying to pretend it’s normal to be
so very alert and feeling so drained
it’s difficult to sit up.

Yet it’s torturous to lay down.
There’s nothing on that couch
nor in that bed that will coax your mind
into letting go its vigilance.

No, Best Beloved, there’s nothing at all
on that couch nor in that bed
to lead you on to rest.

“Best Beloved” borrowed from Rudyard Kipling’s _Just So Stories_.

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George MacDonald

"Home is ever so far away in the palm of your hand, and how to get there it is of no use to tell you. But you will get there; you must get there; you have to get there. Everybody who is not at home, has to go home."

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