Monday, February 20, 2006

To Alanis

20 February 2006, 8:36 AM

I think I may be leaving you behind
Not all at once nor once for all
but something in the taste of wine
the sound of Wendell
Longfellow and Tennyson
eases the angst you helped me find

So little by little I'm putting you away
learning that there is no doctor
There is time
the great healer
faith in Someone bigger than myself
There is wine and music
poetry and blessings
friends to bear the burdens together

I do have my reasons to be here
It goes without saying
I have a thing or two to learn
We all believe in something
it's not a question of compulsion
but of reality and of what or whom
so we do

But you're wrong about one thing
I don't have to believe what I do
This place wounds me daily
enough to make me question
why I do this day in and day out
It teaches me to feel
to choose
to live
alert and aware of how
few things are certain

So I'm putting you away
bit by bit and slowly
loving you just the same
but more as a sister
less as a mentor I've outgrown

Angst is the beginning of wisdom
not its end

No comments:

George MacDonald

"Home is ever so far away in the palm of your hand, and how to get there it is of no use to tell you. But you will get there; you must get there; you have to get there. Everybody who is not at home, has to go home."

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