August 8, 2005
That is my asceticism.
that I must learn
what so many others take for granted.
Life does not come naturally to me.
I cannot comprehend how
daily to perpetuate the functions
necessary for sustenance of life.
I have begun the lesson…
Already I am weary, frustrated
beyond my capacity to cope.
This gift which heals my wounds
also serves to keep me
paralyzed in scars if I fail
to eat, sleep, maintain my home;
my vital relationships.
I cannot live by words alone.
I desire a greater legacy than
survival alone, so I close my notebook,
put down my pen,
though it feels like death to do so…
I know this death-
a path that leads to life
if I let it.