tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99478532024-03-13T03:18:45.922-04:00Practicing SanityMariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.comBlogger559125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-76792178571238910962020-07-16T16:24:00.003-04:002020-07-16T16:31:07.166-04:00Thoughts on #blacklivesmatterI have grown weary in recent weeks of folks criticizing the BLM movement, of people outright chastising their fellow Christians for supporting the movement, or even just using the slogan. I grow weary because the initial purpose of the slogan was so simple, so unarguable, so very in line with what the Church should be teaching anyway: Dignity, protection under the law, serving the oppressed, the marginalized, the underrepresented. There really is no question that systemic racism is a reality in our country. Slavery itself is not far from living memory. Lynching, Jim Crow, systemic disenfranchisement, and the color bar are all within living memory. If you are a middle aged person of color, your parents or your grandparents know or knew someone who was a slave.<br />
<br />
Wounds of this magnitude do not heal overnight, or over decades for that matter. Their reverberations continue for generations. A Black woman my age has no personal memory of slavery, but she grew up around people who grew up around people who did, and family history passes on to the children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Any argument claiming that we should be past the race issue by now ignores the realities of family and societal dynamics.<br />
<br />
Back to BLM—the movement, not necessarily the organization. What question can there be to the statement that our society as a whole, and its constituents individually, need a reminder that the experiences of white men and women do not stand alone in a vacuum, but take place in a construct which OUR ancestors created without an eye toward true justice for all? When our country was being birthed, the Black man and woman were not considered people. They were considered property. As imperfect people with an imperfect and, at times, violent history, we have to actively strive against racism. We’ve made progress, but we obviously have not arrived at the ideal. The very existence of #blacklivesmatter should be a wake up call to any white person who thinks we have.<br />
<br />
We’re at the point—have been at the point for decades—where we need to reconsider our institutions, our assumptions, even our country’s founding principles, from a different perspective; from the perspective that yes, all men and women are created equal, and that all men and women includes our Black, Native American, Asian, Arab, and Hispanic brothers and sisters. We don’t need to throw out our ideals. We need to expand them to the point where they encompass us all by the very nature of our political, societal, educational, religious, and business systems. We are one, you and I, regardless of the color of your skin or mine. We are Americans. It will take more generations to figure out how to live it, but it will take less time if we refuse to cease striving toward the right to liberty, justice, and the pursuit of happiness, for all.Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-84208379380682132702019-01-15T13:53:00.000-05:002019-01-15T13:53:51.379-05:00Auld Lang Syne<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="6p3na" data-offset-key="7n64k-0-0" style="background-color: white;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7n64k-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wish I’d had the wisdom to tell you back then
none of this matters. Twenty years from now,
we won’t remember these slights--
at least they won’t sting as they do.
All that matters is this time we have.
Not that I was in love: maybe I should have been.
But you were my friend, and that was good;
what we should have been back then.
We were right at the time and place,
at least when we were laughing
or ringing in the new year. It was good
to be with you—it was good to be myself.
We counted days, because they were short, always.
We didn’t know why—we thought because
love would get away, we’d miss our chance.
We didn’t know what would make us who we are.
I missed it in a way. Please forgive me. I didn’t know.
All things petty seemed larger than life, enduring.
But now when I say your name,
I think of only you, and Alice,
and the Auld Lang Syne. </span></span></div>
</div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-77928156395430392282019-01-07T08:26:00.000-05:002019-01-07T08:26:38.163-05:00Thoughts on DivorceI've been thinking on divorce and life in the Church a lot during the Advent and Christmas season. This is the time of year, more than any other, that reminds me of my past, my shortcomings, the wounds I have inflicted on my family and those around me.<br />
<br />
When I happen to find myself in a conversation with someone about the evils of divorce (I avoid these conversations, but you'd be surprised how often they happen anyway), I leave feeling shamed, acutely aware of my failings. No one needs to tell me what divorce does to my children. No one needs to tell me that it's not the Christian Ideal. I am keenly aware of these things, and never more so than during the holidays.<br />
<br />
That said, I had an epiphany today about the Church and specifically about how our culture allows the Church to do some things uniquely well, if we let it. I would guess that no where else is the possibility of sexual redemption quite so attainable. Divorce is readily available in this country and, probably from a faith perspective, often abused. But to allow divorce is not to say the bond was not valid or blessed. It simply acknowledges a painful reality--This bond is broken. Only in the wake of acknowledging that brokenness and shame is there an opportunity to be made whole again, either by fixing it or admitting that it is dead. And even if the hard reached decision is the latter, life can be made beautifully whole, like a stained glass window reflecting and refracting light in a completely different way than an unbroken pane of glass. It's not easy. Putting together a stained glass window is a painstaking process, but the results of careful, deliberate workmanship are breathtaking.<br />
<br />
I'm not advocating for divorce. I have never encouraged someone toward divorce, and I doubt I ever will. My husband and I have said more than once that divorce is like jumping out of a frying pan and landing in the fire, and there's really no way to know ahead of time which is worse.<br />
<br />
I am attempting to express that divorce does not render someone a pariah, any more than pride or arrogance or intemperance. There are consequences, but there also is repentance, light, life, and redemption, regardless of the failing.Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-49632105949043634652017-09-19T20:28:00.004-04:002017-09-19T20:28:38.728-04:00Eclipse<a href="https://soundcloud.com/carie-maria-bowen/eclipse">This song</a> was also written in 2005. Enjoy.Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-12660315535633212332017-09-19T20:23:00.000-04:002017-09-19T20:23:30.131-04:00Azure SkyI wrote <a href="https://soundcloud.com/carie-maria-bowen/sets/azure-sky">this song</a> back in 2005. I only just took the time to make a rough recording. Twelve years later. Enjoy.Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-47279231291605519732017-04-21T19:31:00.001-04:002017-04-21T19:31:32.628-04:00She Couldn't Know<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; page-break-before: always; text-decoration: none;">
21 April 2017</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
She handed me an enormous bouquet,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
smiling behind her supermarket badge,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
and thanked me for my service.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
I was befuddled by the kindness,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
then realized I was wearing my father’s jacket:</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
The one my little sister wore before me,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
with our name printed above the right breast pocket,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
US ARMY over the left. The heart.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
She couldn’t know, and it was too late to say.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
She couldn’t know the time I’d spent in the past</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
just hours earlier, taken there by songs</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
we jammed to at the Rec Center on base—</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
the one that no longer exists—while we played pool</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
until the soldiers came in and commandeered the table.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
They were serving, we were along for the ride.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
It made sense, and still does,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
but we served in other ways, less voluntary.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
The base housed us, gave us a place</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
we still remember as home. The base confined us,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
defined the bounds within which we were we.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
I can’t step foot on base now: I didn’t serve;</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
the card I keep in my wallet expired decades ago.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
My home is no longer my home. When I say,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
“I’m from the Army,” because I can’t say</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
where I’m from otherwise, I know</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
it’s not mine anymore, I don’t belong,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
and that space behind my left breast pocket aches.</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
I thanked her for the flowers and finished my shopping,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
confining my tears behind my eyes,</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;">
thankful for the acknowledgment of who I am,</div>
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<br />
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
even if she really couldn’t know.</div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-82898900533119481332016-09-17T13:30:00.000-04:002016-09-17T13:30:39.102-04:00The Waters In Winter<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 100%;"><i>A Place to Stand</i></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>16 September 2016</i></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Beneath the sky,
upon the ground,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
between green grass
and frozen waters,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am a bed of cold,
cold sand.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
You scratched the
words into the surface:</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
You must find A
Place To Stand.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Always, my feet were
on the grass</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
around the reservoir
in springtime.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I made the flowers
grow, the leaves green;</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I caused the sweet,
warm breeze to blow.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Always this has
seemed to me</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
a solid place to
rest and weep.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The waters received
my tears.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Soft wind blows, my
hair a plait</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
behind me. The sun
was warm;</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
kept the chill of
grief at bay.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I dreamed beneath my
midnight skies</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
of dancing stars,
among the citrine fireflies.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'd rest in dreams,
not lies. Not lies.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Always, this has
seemed to me</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the safest place to
rest and sleep.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Even here, a chill
could creep into my mind,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
into my sleep.
Between the grass and reservoir,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'd be a bed of
warm, wet sand, the water taking</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
slowly any words
traced there, by any hand.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The thread of cold
is constant, day or night,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
but springtime is
rest, summer is for dancing,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
fall a time for
honey-sweet reprieve for tired feet.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Always a chill
creeps through the grass.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Always I know it
comes, and I cling</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
to all these
vestiges of autumn, summer, spring.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Winter, I deny.
Winter is a cold, hard eye</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
avoided. A small
rebellion,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
now there's nothing
left to push against.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Only choice. Only me
and my desire</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
to sleep, dance,
rest in warmth of forgetting fires.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
If I stand beside
the Reservoir in winter,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the grass will
crunch beneath my feet,
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
reminding me of
spring and citrine fireflies.
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'll place the cold,
hard stone of grief</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
beneath my feet
where rain can't penetrate.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It is frozen.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'll stand on grief
in wintertime.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'll stand barefoot
beneath a sliver moon.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
In the dead, chill
air, my hair hangs loose.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'll bow my head,
hair falling like a curtain</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
hiding tears that
slowly freeze</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
before they reach
the reservoir—</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the reservoir that
never runs dry.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
They freeze before
they fall. I know,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I know they all will
make their way
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
in springtime to the
waters.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Beside the waters in
winter,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I can still remember
green and living things,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
but songs as sad and
sweet as empty honeycomb</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
sing softly through
the trees.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Carp still swim the
depths, but snow begins to fall,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
and I don't need
them to remember. I know.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Unsleeping memory
opens wide</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
on still green
grass, frosted in the evening's glow.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'll stretch myself
beside the frozen waters,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
gaze upon capacious
midnight skies</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
and unmoved stars
above. The world does not tilt</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
in wintertime. Grief
is foundation enough,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
even for my heart's
shifting.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Beneath the sky,
upon the ground,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
between green grass
and frozen waters,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am a bed of cold,
cold sand</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
bearing your
inscription.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Winter is my place
to stand.</div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-23467333173315818702016-08-24T00:47:00.002-04:002016-08-24T08:35:28.688-04:00Family History<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 100%;">24 August 2016,
12:45 am</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It happens slowly,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
all at once.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Those of them who
know the story</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
leave those of us
who know less.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
We who know little</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
begin to pass on the
narrative</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
to those who know
nothing.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
We deemed it
fitting,
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
they were so young.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What would we tell
them of the hurts,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
of the anger,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
resentment?</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I find the story<span style="line-height: 100%;"> necessary,</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
now those who were
there when I wasn't</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
begin to fall
silent. Few now can tell me</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
what I don't already
know.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Few now can give me
what I never wanted,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
what now I can't
live without--</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the mortar to hold
together</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the gross, obvious
bricks I couldn't bury,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the wounds that
never healed.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
There are pains
which cannot be <span style="line-height: 100%;">relieved</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 100%;">by therapy,
by understanding,</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
by the act of naming.</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
They must be lanced
and drained,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
but the tools for
such grow few</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
as time dances away from us,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
as do the Ones Who
Know,</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the Ones Who Might
Bring Understanding,</div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the Ones Who Are No
Longer.</div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-68250127720737498962016-08-16T08:43:00.001-04:002016-08-16T09:20:47.633-04:00Moving On II<p dir="ltr">The quality of the doors has changed;<br>
of the walls, the floors, the light.<br>
This room was a different place before<br>
we packed up her precious things.<br>
She had possessed it, made it move,<br>
and now it lies still, not dead, but waiting.<br>
No longer hers, it longs, as does she,<br>
for what comes next.</p>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-49460143002543364452015-12-28T10:33:00.003-05:002015-12-28T10:33:35.338-05:00Mom<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This Christmas, I spent a solid week (ask my husband) making dolls for my godchildren. It was a grueling task, but having completed it, I have such an immense sense of having accomplished something worthwhile. I look at the Raggedy Ann doll that sits beside my bed, well loved, repaired multiple times over the years, and I know that those dolls can last a lifetime. Perhaps 30 years from now one of my godchildren will look at my work from the last week and understand for the first time how much I love him, or what I was trying to communicate when I spent this week benignly cursing as I assembled her doll’s feet.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-9d6e9b9c-e938-7a3d-5ae7-69727c93fe53" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It has occurred to me many times over the years that, while I never really sat down and learned sewing, quilting, doll making, dollhouse building, painting, woodworking, radio fixing, violet growing, or gardening at my mother’s feet, I watched her doing all those things at some point during my childhood. I suppose I learned by osmosis. My mother is a multi-talented, many faceted artist, and she passed her gifts on to me. My house is overflowing with her creativity, when I take the time to look and remember. Raggedy Ann, quilts that I watched her create, crocheted shawls that drape my doors and peer out from 40-year-old pictures, memories of the broken cassette player I watched her disassemble and put back together, now working. There was and is nothing my mom can’t do when she decides she’s going to do it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">She was, in so many ways, an amazing mother. She excelled at creating wonder when we were young, as well as when we were grown. She made my wedding dress when I first married. The marriage didn’t last, but the dress is still in her closet. More than 5000 seed beads adorn the train and the bodice. It was a crowning achievement, or so I thought at the time.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But since then, my mother has painted a gallery full of intricate water color and acrylic paintings. It seems pain begets beauty. I’m sad for the heartache, but the beauty is sometimes more than I can stand. How well does a woman ever really know her mother? Perusing her work, I wonder at the thought rooms I never knew existed in the woman I so resemble in more ways than one.</span></div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-91346923731549538012015-12-23T09:36:00.001-05:002016-08-24T08:42:37.542-04:00Christmas 2015<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Always, Christmas has been about surprises for me. The kids usually make us a list so we know what they need/want, and they often get something from that list. But I always try to have something they didn’t expect, and that will make them smile when they see it.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-345c403d-cf44-3295-86e6-e511fe386a5d" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My husband and I don’t officially exchange gifts on Christmas or birthdays, and my kids have no money or foresight enough to think ahead and plan. But there has always been a half-hidden hope of some surprise on Christmas morning for me. I don’t think it’s out of line with the spirit of the season. We look forward with anticipation to the birth of the Christ Child, and part of the fostering of that is the anticipation of something unexpected. There’s no disappointment if no surprise is forthcoming, and a plush purple pony placed secretly in my stocking by my little one is just as precious as any other surprise that might have presented itself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve noticed, though, that since the passing of my uncle last year, my anticipation has shifted. I had no though of surprises this year, at least for myself. There was a rather bewildering surprise on this day a year ago, and it culminated in an extraordinary loss on Christmas Day. Suddenly, Christmas is all about Sam. I think it will be for years to come. And because it’s all about Sam, it is also all about creating magic for my children--all of my children--my son, my daughters, my own Special Grils and Skipping Partners who all have their very own Sam now, in me. They also have another Sam in my husband, who embodies all the qualities I miss so much in Sam.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Christmas has, for a long time now, been a dull ache for me, sending children away or receiving them back on Christmas Eve. The ache is compounded by a new sense of anticipation, a new 3 day fasting period preceding what is now a day of bright sorrow alongside joy and giving: Remembering the news of the heart attack; the helplessness; the scramble to find photos, and the remembering; awaiting the decision, which fell on Christmas Eve/Day (I suddenly realize I’m not sure which day it was), to let Sam go.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I didn’t see Sam much in the last 15 years, but he was present. He called, he wrote letters. When he saw me, at least once, he would take my face in his hands and say my name--no one says my given name anymore--Carie Christine. When he laughed, he looked so like his mother.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He is something of a patron saint of Christmas for me now. Maybe for all his Grils and Skipping Partners. I miss him. I have thought often during the last few weeks that if I have to grieve someone during Christmas, who better than someone who brought me nothing but love and joy?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I read yesterday that grief is the price of love. I think that is accurate in this life. I have lost loved ones before, but Sam's passing has taught me this like no other loss. I suddenly feel very much older, very much responsible and privileged for my relationships with my young ones. I suddenly feel as if the weight of who Sam was is squarely on my shoulders.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-43473723246736103432015-12-14T20:10:00.003-05:002015-12-15T08:55:10.602-05:00My Turn<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Uncle Sam</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-6f090a41-a32f-5e9d-d831-5971339008b5" style="font-weight: normal;"><br></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You’re missing this year.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">No call at Thanksgiving,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">no card with your distinctive signature.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">No one to take my face in his hands,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">say my name.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We’ve lost something invaluable.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I curse benignly as I cut</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">yet another doll arm. How many doll arms</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">will l cut in my lifetime for these little grils</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and yobs whose wants</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I find difficult to pace?</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You’re smiling from across the room,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">an icon on my altar. I see you</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">everyday as I eat breakfast,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">dinner with my children</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">all with differing expectations</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of my time and talents.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s your fault, you know,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">this drive to love them with my time.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This endless cutting, pounding, painting--</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">it will never be done. I’m trying so hard</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to keep pace with the gifts you gave:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">your mindfulness;</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">your remembering of us, always.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Your holding us fiercely and forever,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">even when we were far away.</span></div>
<br>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s my turn now.</span></div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-25595040914566040012015-11-17T08:12:00.000-05:002015-11-17T09:18:21.120-05:00Terrorist<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">17 November 2015</span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Look into a child's eyes</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">tell her she cannot have shelter</span></div>
<div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
food, home, the head on her shoulders</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
because her father might kill us;</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
tell a boy he isn't welcome</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
to a childhood he'll never have</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
because his parents might</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
detonate a bomb.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
Create a terrorist.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
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<a href="http://i.ndtvimg.com/i/2015-09/syrian-boy-drowns-650-afp_650x400_51441283742.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.ndtvimg.com/i/2015-09/syrian-boy-drowns-650-afp_650x400_51441283742.jpg" height="196" width="320" /></a></div>
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Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-23668129552065656392015-06-23T19:42:00.001-04:002015-06-23T19:43:23.751-04:00Like FatherAll I can do is sit on the couch and cry,<br />knowing others carry the stronger claim.<br />Your grief pulls mine into the open, and I’m grateful.<br />Grateful for generosity enough to share pain<br />with us all, however derivative our connection.<br />I need permission to feel. Wittingly or unwittingly,<br />you give it when you give yourself.<br />You’re so like your father.<br /><br />Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-43109691567974651042015-06-21T17:49:00.001-04:002015-06-22T16:18:07.487-04:00Thoughts on Father's DayLove them well, those little ones.<br />Love the mother they’ve known, the wife<br />they’ve grown accustomed to seeing you embrace.<br />You can’t shift gears when they leave<br />and expect they won’t pay a price.<br />Even forty-year-old children need to know<br />you are who you’ve always been.<br />If you are not, then who are they?<br /><br />Such demons sleep under my pillow,<br />in sealed boxes, between the pages of books<br />I haven’t opened in decades.<br />I can’t escape the fangs and talons<br />Christmas cards and photo albums conceal;<br />the wounds that never heal,<br />yet take me by surprise.<br />Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-5959760358632419832015-06-12T16:38:00.000-04:002015-06-12T16:38:24.692-04:006 Months On, More Or Less<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">12 June 2015</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">SB</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-5ef57c0b-e97c-efa8-ee8a-438201cf7ce9" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The tips of my shaggy hair are faded purple.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Brown creeps back in, my normal;</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the me that exists with and without you.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I long for normal, but grief doesn't work that way.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You’ll never laugh at my crazy hair,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">never take my face in your hands again,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">say my full name. No one else uses my full name.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How will I remember it?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-2694497148458959172014-12-27T23:44:00.002-05:002014-12-28T06:31:19.296-05:00First Hand<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">27 December 2014</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-3fd2b950-8f35-2cce-bc19-55709ca3e24f" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #666666;">SB</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We go suddenly from is to was.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Time is frozen in a picture that holds</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">a smile we know, have always known,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">have always remembered in motion,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">but it’s done now. The smile is now</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">a thing to be painted or written about,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">described for those who never knew it</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">first hand.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #741b47; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-23468393728278323312014-12-26T10:08:00.001-05:002014-12-26T16:32:06.731-05:00Our Dear Sam<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Samuel de Lyra Butler</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">b. 8 January 1947</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">d. 25 December 2014</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Uncle Sam had a name for his many nieces. We were always his Special Grils. I'd say it was an exclusive club, but I realized this week that it wasn't. It didn't have to be. Sam had love to go around, and he smothered us in it, to the exclusion of no one. He brought together people who wouldn't much care for each other, otherwise. And I'm certain he had just as many ways of making his few nephews, of which my brother was one, feel loved and a part of something rare and wonderful and absolute, from which they could not be ejected. Once you're Uncle Sam's Skipping Partner (a recent nickname my brother told me he was baptized into), you've got something special, and it can't be taken away. The memories of his devotion and sincerity (and goofiness) are very nearly as compelling as the man himself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">That is one of the realizations to come from his passing. Once </span><span style="line-height: 18.3999996185303px; white-space: pre-wrap;">you've</span><span style="line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"> known him, his story, and that vibrant, silly, funny, teddy bear love he gave, you’re changed. Despite all he'd seen and been through--and there was grief and tragedy and trauma to go around- he was a light and a refuge, always. When you reflect on his life, you might be just a little challenged to love better, and to cast the net of your love wider.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Goodbye, dear, sweet Sam. We are blessed to have had you all this time. So very blessed. May your memory be eternal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">With love, one of your Special Grils,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Carie Christine</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-58060481053262640092014-12-25T19:40:00.002-05:002014-12-25T19:40:54.111-05:00Christmas Day<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">25 December 2014</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">SB</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-e9139ca9-8409-7e57-25d6-c39db7b409c0" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He was already gone.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The thing breathing for him didn’t keep him</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">closer while we tried to say goodbye,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">more for us than for him.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m so far away, it’s hard not to</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">wish he’d stayed a little longer</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">so I could tell him</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">how I wish I’d made the time</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">after his first near-death experience.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I never considered there’d be another,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">so much closer he couldn’t make it back</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to all of us here, wondering what we’ll do</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">without him.</span></div>
<br />Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-86958301754913113742014-12-24T22:24:00.003-05:002014-12-24T22:36:35.272-05:00Christmas Eve<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">24 December 2014</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">SB</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-e9139ca9-7f78-c333-ad85-e1ccca52ad63" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lights and carols</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">softly blow like flakes of snow,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">lovely but cold.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We are waiting for more</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">than Christmas morning.</span>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-35574237593189181702014-11-19T23:05:00.000-05:002014-11-19T23:05:02.730-05:00Cliche<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
19 November 2014</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
Bluebonnets. They're just a piece</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
of a larger image that became history</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
when I wasn't looking. I didn't know</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
I should treasure the memories.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
They weren't Heaven, but they're gone--</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
I am a cliche. An ache like heartburn</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
nothing can relieve--the medicine</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
is out of reach--to have a moment of a home I knew.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
I don't want to go back in time. I want</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
to go back in space, retrieve the piece, long gone,</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
I didn't know I lost.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-36654111416047767002014-11-18T23:40:00.001-05:002014-11-18T23:40:35.657-05:00Shin Raymun & Chopsticks<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">18 November 2014</span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I consume my Shin Raymun with a fork,</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
a Brat-variety world traveler to the core.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I pick and choose which</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
pieces of parts of the world I embrace.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I could use chopsticks (and have),</div>
<div>
just as my father could have chosen to live</div>
<div>
off base, in the heart of Seoul.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Few people did.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Don't misunderstand me--</div>
<div>
I know how to use chopsticks.</div>
<div>
I know how to choose a bowl of ramen.</div>
<div>
It's the Brat in me who chooses one</div>
<div>
and not the other</div>
<div>
and sees no contradiction.</div>
</div>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-50540089660020286242014-08-16T12:43:00.002-04:002014-08-16T15:23:59.667-04:00Moving On<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">16 August 2014</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A memory</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-246820c8-dfb2-9fe2-95fb-78baa67e4b7e" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The quality of the doors has changed;</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of the walls, the floors, the light.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This room was a different place before</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">we packed up our precious things.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We had possessed it, made it move,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and now it lies still, not dead, but waiting.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">No longer ours, it longs, as do we,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">for what comes next.</span><br />
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Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-38892821192553125392014-04-08T16:43:00.004-04:002014-04-08T16:52:03.746-04:00Aesthetics<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">8 April 2014</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-c0cb55b5-4314-7098-ed9d-57ba4a15baa6" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t go making a fashion statement</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">something it’s not, or equating</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">outward signs with spiritual realities.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This scarf may be no more than</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a pretty accessory; a long, unkempt beard</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">as much a sign of vanity as an updo.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I believe in holy, sacramental things</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">without making theological</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a purely aesthetic choice, spiritualizing</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the length of my hair, your beard</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or lack thereof. </span></span></div>
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Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9947853.post-60996180907676308522014-04-08T11:25:00.003-04:002014-04-08T15:16:44.820-04:00An Older Poem<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every Color</span></pre>
<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">24 November 2007, 2:57 PM
Any color is more itself with you,</span></pre>
<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">content to see and, in seeing, be
seen- these fields of glorious green
and every tender flower
unfolding, fresh and white
beneath a fiery coral sun
and azure sky.</span></pre>
Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02379750999344395133noreply@blogger.com0